Growing up I have always listened to what my parents tell me to do. Follow the rules, don’t lie, don’t cheat and study. My parents wanted me to become a doctor but they never really gave me any guidance. They yelled at me very often and blamed me for being in the way of their success.
Because of this, I grew up to become too soft, too sensitive and weak. This is my weakness. Whenever people tell me things i listen to them and accept it gracefully. But whenever I tell other people to fix their mistakes and follow the rules, they often rejected my ideas. I’m used to not talking back to people because I have always been yelled at. So this is my weakness. I’m too soft and I lack the skills to assert my authoritativeness amongst others. Because of this, I was unable to become successful and lacked the confidence to move up into higher ranking positions.
Below I will give you examples of why being too soft is not a good thing
Being too soft can lead to
- Other people taking advantage of you
- Not being able to pursue your goals and dreams
- Not being successful
- Letting other’s get away with bullying you
- Letting your past friends blackmail you and bully you and prevent you from getting straight A’s in school.
- Letting other people take credit for your work that you worked so hard on
- Always giving other people what they want without having them working for it
- Getting ripped off from Sales reps making you overpay for something you don’t need (car dealers, gym membership, spa membership etc).
To counter this I have utilized my knowledge from watching Anime and reading self-help books to provide a solution to not be soft. You need to be strong to be able to pick up leadership positions and to rank up amongst society. Don’t ever be weak and don’t let other people’s words get to you.
To not be soft it is wise to
- Know the rules and loopholes, and how to get out of things
- Show hatred amongst other without feeling too guilty.
- You want to help someone improve their skills, come up to them and show some advice, if they reject you or hate you, so be it!
- Don’t be too soft and don’t give in to what people want
- If a salesman tries to sell you something you don’t want and they continuously repeat it, just get up and walk out of that door. They will want to fight you, be ready.
So what are the basic steps to improving your skills so that we can overcome this challenge?
- Take an assertive communication class
- Be consistent at your weakness and try to improve them
- Know what your strengths and weaknesses are
- Learn from leaders that can teach you very well
- Only follow coaches and leaders that are good at helping you becoming a leader/coach yourself.
- Take a self defense class to fight bullies
- Learn how to use weapons
- Learn how to use words
- Challenge yourself to pick up tough obstacles throughout life
- Keep a diary of everything you do and all your encounters and hardships
- Do not follow useless friends around
- Learn how to endure pain and suffering and get through it
- Always take the blame for everything and find solutions to the related problems, this will toughen you up and allow you to move up to the next tier.