I would like to share some tips and advice that I found online on how to speak well and listen more effectively.
Why learn how to speak more effectively?
I would like to be a leader and make my own decisions on who I want to talk to so I am sharing this useful article from success.com. These tips can be very useful for events at birthday parties, networking events, adventure trips.
The first thing you do is plan out who your going to talk to, what your going to say and what your going to do next based on the other person’s response. Sometimes people will shoo you away or be uninterested in talking to you (It’s happened to me before). Make sure you use your listening skills and ask them why and then move on :). Think positively! You are a leader in charge of your own life!
When It’s time to talk here is what you should be doing/thinking:
- Organize your thinking first
- Know what you want to say
- Say it
- Just do it!
- Get to the point
- Now that you were able to say what you were thinking about, you probably want to make a statement or request something. Now is the time to do that. If you want someone to do something better or change their habits, or would like more advice on how your doing, just ask!
- What question did you wanted to ask? Did you wanted to get the person’s phone number, business card, contacts, or just be friends with them? Did you wanted to share your research findings, a project your working on?
- Whatever point your trying to make, make sure you clarify in the beginning of your speech!
- Be concise
- Don’t blabber random stuff. Speak in a plain and well relaxed way. Use least words and words that people can understand.
- Be real
- Be yourself, don’t fake it. Unless you are a professional actor or voice actor or comedian that has been training for this day :).
- Speak in images
- Bring pictures and slideshows and show them to the person your talking to. This is how I feel right now, *Shows a picture of an elephant*.
- Speak in words that allow the listener to visualize what your trying to say.
Tips to improve your listening skills:
- Listen carefully and thoughtfully
- Just take notes mentally of what the other person is saying so you can remember it and bring it back into the conversation.
- Use your eyes
- Keep your eyes open and DON’T CLOSE THEM.
- Don’t break eye contact, unless your planning on going somewhere else like to the bathroom.
- It’s a staring contest.
- Observe nonverbal signals when your listening
- Watch the other person’s body language. What are they doing?
- Some examples from the success article : Rubbing one eye, tapping feet, rubbing fingers, staring at something else, blinking, crooked smiles, avoiding eye contact.
- Sometimes when I talk to people I notice they move around too much like they are nervous…. Have you noticed anything? Feel free to share.
- Once you notice those body language, feel free to bring it up into the conversation. I noticed you were (Insert nonverbal signal here) would you like to take a quick break and (or insert something fun in here) get some tea sir?
- It’s ok to ask these kind of questions when your talking to your friends in school or outside. Feel free to modify your questions up a little bit when your listening to someone more serious like a professor/teacher or higher up.
- Make Things easier
- Just make it clear to the speaker that you are listening to them and that you are understanding their ideas and thoughts. If you don’t, ask them to clarify it, don’t just nod and move on.
- If the conversation is not interesting, just politely walk away or change the subject to something more interesting (when you are with your friends or talking to people outside or at a party).